Saturday, February 02, 2008

The Horse Story

I wasn't going to tell The Horse Story, because this is a blog about knitting, right? But there have been so many comments and questions that I feel I have no option but to reveal The Horse Story (and the even more startling follow-up.)

Last Sunday afternoon, sitting on the sofa in my own house in the rural backwater and minding my own business, the back door suddenly burst open and #1 daughter erupted into the house. She was weeping, she was wailing, she was unable to speak and, strangely, she was shoeless. All sorts of horror flashed through my mind but when I finally managed to calm the child down sufficiently, she told me that she had been coming home, through the now famous "back field", and that one of the horses had rushed at her and scared her. She ran away so fast that the new red shoes came off in the general melee and were now lying in the back field. "No problem, don't worry, darling. Mummy will get the shoes back," said this brave woman, in cavalier fashion.

Out I went, over the back fence with #1 daughter in the background, pointing out the shoes. The horse was there. The horse came up to me.

Here's the horse in a quieter moment (just in case you've forgotten what a horse looks like):

I held out my hand in greeting and the bugger bit me on the inside of the forearm.

This is what it looks like now, almost a week later (and slightly blurry from the contortionist's tricks I had to go through to get this picture):

That was bad enough, but on Wednesday evening I was alerted to flashing blue lights in the pub's car park. Thinking that my workplace had gone on fire once again, I shot out of the house to find out what was happening. Only to meet a fireman, in full regalia, walking up the road, shining a torch and "looking for a hydrant" (I would have thought there should be a list of where they all are, but that's just me and my quirky outlook on life.) "So what's the problem?" I ask and he replies, "Oh, nothing much, it's just a fire in some stables at the bottom of the pub car park."

Oh, Dear God.

I've been expecting the "four o'clock knock" ever since. "Excuse me, Madam, but we have reason to believe that you have a grudge against this horse. Would you mind accompanying us to the station to assist with our enquiries?"

Of course, I have nothing to fear. I was at home all the time, with 'im indoors. The only problem being that when I said that to him, he said, "Were you?"

So far, I'm still at liberty but who knows how long that state of affairs will apply?

For the record, even though I'm not the biggest fan of our equine friend, I really wouldn't wish being burned to a crisp on him and as it turned out he wasn't even singed - no horses were harmed in the telling of this story.

There's been a bit of knitting:

That's the "Audrey" bag, not quite finished yet. The handle is meant to be a silver chain with yarn woven through it. I'm not sure I'm so keen on that idea and #1 daughter says I should make a little handle like "Tilly's legs" (that would be the I-cord, then.) Maybe, maybe not.

Follow-up to the Noni bag saga - many thanks to all for their comments re dyeing, not dyeing, what colour to dye and so on. I was most cheered by several people who have said that having one odd flower is "interesting", "quirky", "fun" and all what not. (I might be starting to come round to that way of thinking.)

The best thing of all?

I had an email from Lisa at First4Yarns, where I bought the Cascade, that turned into the bag, that turned a different colour, that ended up being part of the house that Kate knitted.

I can't do better than just tell you what she wrote:

Hi Kate,
Just been browsing online and came to your Blog, I can't believe how the bag has turned out ! That is the first time I have seen that the yarn changes colour when felted, what happened?
If you would like to have another try I am quite willing to send you some more free of charge as I feel this shouldn't have happened.
I will let Cascade know x
Lisa :()

Talk about customer service above and beyond the call of duty! I haven't replied to Lisa yet because I'm not quite sure of the etiquette of how to go on in this situation. Any advice? (Take the yarn and run has already sprung to mind...)

Oh, and, in case you were wondering the red shoes were retrieved from over the rainbow and all is now well (apart from the bruise, more yellow by the minute.)


littlelixie said...

Excellent! Horses - pah.

Kathy said...

Wow, that horse got lucky, I may not have been so forgiving, I don't have a love of horses to begin with.

'im indoors should pay attention when someone needs an alibi, it might be him needing help to get out of a fire un-singed next time!

Seriously though, I hope your bruise goes away quickly, that is nasty looking.


TutleyMutley said...

I LIKE horses - but that's some bruise. Ouch.
I got whiplash from a horse, once. But that's another tale.

I'll see you (and the bruise - not!) at Skip North?

allisonmariecat said...

Not that your pain, or #1 daughter's distress, amuses me, but I was laughing because of how well you tell that story!

I love Audrey. I'm not sure about the silver chain, either, and i-cord isn't the most fun, but might be the way to go. Maybe little purchased handles?

Wow! On the Noni-related customer service. That's amazing,